If you don't know me you may not know that I have a tendency to be a tad sarcastic and be little dramatic. So not everything I say should be taken so literally....so this next post is all in good fun... so if you happen to fall into one of these categories, don't take offense... and if you do, write about it!!!!
TOP TEN GUYS A TWENTY-SOMETHING- BROWN GIRL SHOULD AVOID.
Ok this is for the ladies...specifically my soon to be twenty- something girls who may need a little guidance. Often when I talk to with girlfriends the conversation inevitably leads to a discussions about relationships. Don't get me wrong, we're smart girls so we can gab a/b politics, finance and other stuff too...but lets be honest nothing goes better with a cocktail than some man talk. Over the years, we have had hundreds of convo about guys and types of guys. It has become clear to many of us, that certain "types" should just be avoided all together. So being the spirited blogger that I am...i decided to compile these "types" into a nice neat list to share with the world.
Guy Number 1) " But My Mama Says"....
Look loving your mom is great, and we all get that she is a wonderful woman that sacrificed soo much to raise you. But I really don't need to know how your mom cooks her chicken or what your mom thinks about my hair cut. Look there is an art to taking advice, heed your mom's advice ( most of it is probably good) but be a man and think for yourself.
Guy Number 2) " If you want a girl...I'm real good at making girls.... I already got two" ( and that is a direct quote I kid you not).
Children are blessings...but don't need nor want to be anybodies makeshift babysitter or mommy, especially when your not taking care of them properly. I'm not saying that all guys with children should be eliminated..but when a guy is only 22 and he already has 4...you may want to reconsider.
Guy Number 3) " I'm just talkin to somebody"
I can't stand the just talking guy. You know him..the guy who is always "just talkin" to somebody. And we all know that he has a girlfriend and doesn't want to admit it ..but when you ask him about her, he is always "just talkin"...stop lying ...you met her family...you went out on V-day...your in a relationship you are not just talking.
Guy Number 4) " It against my religion to wear condoms"
Really...really....put a condom on. It's 2010 I don't want your parasite, virus or bacteria...and childcare is too expensive...if you don't want to wear one...than introduce yourself to the five finger shuffle.
Guy Number 5) Ego Trippin' Frat Boy-
Ok I have nothing against guys in Fraternities.. In fact being apart of one can actually be an attribute. But and however...the Ego trippin' frat boy who thinks his "ish" don't stink gotta go. Just because you have a Greek symbol adorned to your body doesn't give you the right to be an asshole. I mean get a grip... just last year you were the chunky kid in the dorm playing your Xbox...please don't get Greek confused with Greek God there is a difference.
Guy Number 6) The Old man at the club wearing FUBU telling you that you have a "baby face"( again another real life example) ....do I even need an explanation.
Guy Number 7) The free lance rapper/producer/football player/artist.
There is nothing wrong with pursuing your dreams ( even if they are a tad far fetched) but when you sit at home, doing nothing and have no real measurable talent, and you want me to finance or support your lofty dreams..we have a problem
Guy Number 8) " I smoke...I drink.... and that's about it"-
There is nothing wrong with having a good time, but if it it Tuesday and it only 1:35 pm and you haven't worked since 2008, and the last time you were in a classroom was 2003 in High School... its time to get a new hobby ( and maybe get your liver checked).
Guy Number 9) " My car is fly...but its in the shop"-
Recently, I have come across a couple of these guys. They got the nicest car...but its never around...ever. So you end up driving all around town, wasting your gas, money and time. But these are the same guys to brag about their "fly car" with " tinted everything, and rims." Well Mr. if you can afford all that maybe you can chip in for gas.
Guy Number 10) " Your cute...but I'm cuter".
To all the men in the world...let me let you in on a secret..women want to feel as if they are the cutest thing in the world and that they are the prize in the relationship. If you love to look at yourself more than me...we have a problem. If you criticize my shoes, clothes, makeup...we have a problem. You may be cute Mr. but let me assure I AM THE CUTER ONE.
So there you have it the top 10 guys to avoid...be aware be very aware
Honorable Mentions-
1. Smelly Guys
2. Meat Heads
3. The Womanizer
4. The beyond irrational homophobes
5. The "black women disser "
Every "Ying" needs its "yang" on this earth to create a certain equilibrium of balance between the sexes, as we all know women aren't the perfect species, so I will give you my own top 5 list of women to avoid...(5 because I'm lazy tonight...)
ReplyDelete1. Gold Diggers- You can easily date these girls if you have the funds. They also aren't hard to find...just borrow your friend's beamer, benz, or bently, drive it slow to the city, and see who comes running...sure enough, you would find someone who wants you to be their "sugar daddy" or "sponser"... What they need to do is make their own damn money...
2. Gangsta Chicks- I am a man, and men are prone to mistakes...I admit that...But for every minor minuscule error I perform, I don't need to have my penis being threatened to be chopped off, poisoned at supper, or have Tyrone and Jerome jump me next time I forget to leave the toilet seat down... You aren't scaring anybody. Except if Jerome really does come by...hes pretty mean looking...
3. Hypocrites- Even though we hate to be admit it, we all have our shallow sides. But when girls start writing off list of what they man needs to be to "get with this", they should at least try to meet them half way. What I am trying to say is you can't expect to find a Tall, Dark, Rich, and Handsome man if you Short, Pale, Broke, and Ugly...Jus' Sayin...
4. Psychos- Ever heard the saying "Crazy in the head, crazy in the bed"? That saying is oddly true, but always remember to not give crazy a baby...If their mood swings are wider than Michael Strahan's gap, then it may be smart (and safe) to move the hell on.
5. The Girls with high mileage on the tank- Sex is a very natural process of life. I don't know anything, and I try not to judge other people because I don't have all the answers myself. So in that respect, I don't know what would constitute as too many or too little partners. But when you tell me that you had "around 40 partners in the span of 2 years" (True story) and you want me to be #41...
...
...
I don't even know what else to say about that...
You might be talking about 40 dudes, but all that's in my mind is 40 STD's I can potentially catch just by touching her...
There you go Lorin' I hope you enjoy my 2 cents. And I hope you do continue on this endeavor, as it really shows a creative side that I never really experienced from you before. Keep it up babe!
I've personally experienced #1,#3,#5,#7,#8 and #10....lol
ReplyDeleteThere all douchebags....
this was too funny and the funniest part about it is at least once a day, depending on your circle and what you do, you will run in to at least 2 types a day! LOL
ReplyDelete@ Choc D- I love your response...I think both sexes have something to look out for. And thank you for the continued love and support :)
ReplyDelete@ Baptiste Black- I'm soo sorry for your time wasted with these dudes lol....hopefully at least they provided a learning experience. But believe me your in good company I think we all have been there.
@ Shaina- I have met at least one of every type ( in some categories i have met two or three). But you live and learn....:)